Law School: Week 1

Wow, it's amazing how time flies when you're starting law school. While this first week at Drake seemed like it went by really quickly, at the same time it seems like I've already been in school for much longer than 1 week. I keep getting those questions from friends and family as to how it went, and I have to say that it was all fine. The classes are great, I've already started getting to know some really awesome people, and it's pretty easy for me to know which professors I am going to like and which ones are just going to confuse me on a weekly basis.

By far, my favorite professor is for my Torts class. I think the reason for that is that he cuts through the crap in cases and tells us exactly what we need to know. He doesn't sit there and "milk the mice" as he repeats in class. If you haven't heard that phrase before, don't worry. I hadn't either. Basically, it means don't try to make some thing substantial out of something small -- stick to the main issue of the case and then move on to the next one. While in some classes we take 2 or even 3 class periods on one case, we get through 4 or even 5 cases a class in Torts. I like that.

He also talks about strange news stories, which are one of my favorite things. There is one specific example I have in mind. I think I'll try a Dane-Cookish explanation of this. We'll start with what he said, and then work backwards to figure out what exactly was going on to bring this comment about.

"Why don't you wrap your lips around the barrel of this shotgun, Punk."

Let's go back, let's go back.

Recently, we have been discussing the law around intentional torts, that is infractions by one individual against another individual where they intended to do something. Our specific topic of the day was false imprisonment charges.

After a class going through the actual cases in the casebook, Professor Albert pulls out a manila folder of newspaper clippings. As he is going through the stories, all news stories about false imprisonment cases, I begin to see a trend in them -- they all are regarding a store called Manards.

In one particularly incredulous story, a man was detained at a Manards for being accused of stealing a 19 cent nail he brought into the store with him to match the nails be was purchasing with, since he needed them to match for the same project. When he refused to sign an admission of stealing and a waiver of liabilities form, Manards called the cops.

When the cops came, they refused to arrest this gentlemen, and went out the back entrance. On the way to his squad care, a Manards security officer pursues the cop and tells him that the cop needs to open the trunk to make sure that he didn't steal anything while he was in the store. THE TRUNK OF HIS SQUAD CAR!

Damned if the cop didn't do it.

So, after he tells us this story, my professor shook his fist in anger, brandishing the newspaper clipping towards a wall. He said:

"Is this the new pecking order? Manards security officers, then state troopers? I mean, with a shotgun and a German Shepard sitting in the front seat, this security officer has the AUDACITY to inspect the trunk and make sure that this officer isn't stealing anything after refusing to arrest a man for a 19 cent nail he didn't steal? Well, I tell ya, I know what my response would be."

He dropped his arm, setting the clipping back in the folder as he turned, all in silence. Looking back up at us, his face dead-set in seriousness, he spoke in a lowered voice.

"Why don't you wrap your lips around the barrel of this shotgun, punk."

Who knew law school could be so entertaining?

On a more administrative note, now that I have my schedule I have decided that Saturday is going to be by blog post day, so expect a weekly Ginger Snap on Saturday nights!

Night all!